4 Ways of Developing Emotional Security Within Children
Psychologists define Emotional Quotient (EQ) as “the ability to identify, understand, and manage your own emotions to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.” The EQ is directly proportional to the emotional security of the child.
We are all aware by now about the fatal consequences of emotional insecurity among children. For instance, recent “Blue Whale Challenge” syndrome, a predatory online game that claimed hundreds of innocent lives in a span of a year, revealed how emotionally vulnerable children can become soft targets of ruthless and manipulative minds and influences.
Stable and positive emotional state has shown phenomenal benefits in the growth of children as balanced and well-rounded individuals. Since times immemorial we have focused on developing the academic aptitude of our children. Now, the time has come to invest some energy and effort on building the emotional fabric of our children.
In this article, let us discuss some simple yet effective ways of inculcating emotional quotient among children:
Listen to understand:
The routine activity of asking your child how their day went does not help always. You have to listen to your child with an intent of understanding him/her. Do you know what they like or dislike? What upsets them and what cheers them up? Can you read between the lines? Your interest to have a conversation with your child will encourage them to open up.
Respond with empathy:
Effective communication with your child is mostly about allowing them to be themselves and acknowledging their feelings. Open ended questions will help them reveal their doubts and confusions that can be addressed by you with empathy and acknowledgement of their feelings. Better to explain to your child the reason why you are not allowing them to do something.
Be firm while defining boundaries:
When you try to set boundaries for your child for the sake of discipline, be prepared to suffer their tantrums and temper initially. Be calm and firm during that time because it is your conviction that will eventually help the child to finally accept your decision.
Communicate with respect:
While communicating with your child, do not hurt their self-esteem or make the mistake of underestimating their intelligence because of their inexperience. If you snap at them mistakenly, apologise to them. This helps them to own their mistakes in future. It is wise to remember that too much criticism or praise can also be detrimental for children.
Every child is unique and need to be accepted without any bias, personal prejudice or judgement. Their innate curiosity should always be encouraged and dealt patiently to increase the level of emotional security.
In our effort to groom them with the ways of the world, we must not change their inherent individuality and distinctiveness. Rather these aberrations can be developed into attributes that can bring about a meaningful transformation of the community. When they feel emotionally safe and secure, they can express themselves confidently, share and act on their ideas and beliefs.
It is possible to include each and every child in a learning journey and help them become emotionally stable and thinking individuals who can contribute towards the advancement of society.